Chris Carlson/Associated Press (2007), Former Vice President Al Gore and his wife, Tipper Gore arrive for the Primetime Emmy Awards in Los Angeles in September 2007. The couple is separating.
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Al Gore once claimed his romance with wife Tipper inspired the novel “Love Story” and the couple shared an uncomfortably long kiss before millions on the stage of the Democratic National Convention.Now, after a 40-year marriage that survived the near-death of a child and the heartache of losing the disputed 2000 presidential election, the former high school sweethearts are calling it quits.
“After a great deal of thought and discussion, we have decided to separate,” the Gores wrote in an e-mail to friends on Tuesday. “This is very much a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together.”

Gore spokeswoman Kalee Kreider confirmed the statement came from the Gores, but declined to comment further.

The Gores told friends they “grew apart” after four decades of marriage and there was no affair involved, according to two longtime close associates and family friends.

The couple had carved out separate lives over time, with the 62-year-old former vice president and Nobel Peace Prize laureate on the road frequently, said the associates, who spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak on the couple’s behalf.

“Their lives had gotten more and more separated,” one of the friends said.

The couple, who own homes in Nashville and Gore’s hometown of Carthage, Tenn., had reportedly purchased an $8.8 million estate in Montecito, Calif., this spring.

Married on May 19, 1970, at the National Cathedral in Washington, the Gores crafted an image of a happy couple during his eight-year stint as vice president in the 1990s and a presidential candidate in 2000.

Their warm relationship stood in sharp contrast to the Clinton marriage rocked by Bill Clinton’s affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky, a scandal that hung over Gore’s own presidential campaign.

At the time, Gore said his wife was “someone I’ve loved with my whole heart since the night of my high school senior prom.” Then, as if to prove it, he planted that long, awkward kiss on her during the 2000 Democratic presidential convention.

Such public affection did much to enliven the former vice president’s stuffy image. Tipper Gore, 61, painted a picture of a playful relationship, saying in a 2000 interview that she teased her husband while he prepared for presidential debates by e-mailing him “lascivious” messages.

“He e-mails me back and says, ‘I’m losing my concentration now,’” she said.

In a speech to the 2004 Democratic convention, Gore said he wanted to thank “with all my heart my children and grandchildren, and especially my beloved partner in life, Tipper.”

The “Love Story” claim came in 1997, when Gore told a reporter he and Tipper were the inspiration for Erich Segal’s 1970s best-seller. A surprised Segal said that Gore, whom he knew at Harvard, had inspired one side of his male hero’s personality — the one controlled by a domineering father — but his book had nothing to do with Tipper Gore.

In a letter written to then-girlfriend Tipper as a 17-year-old college freshman, Al Gore hinted at that dynamic. “Mother’s having a fit about me riding the motorcycle back to Harvard. Dad’s mad at my long hair,” he wrote.

The Gores have four children, Karenna, Kristin, Sarah and Albert III, all now adults. Their son underwent rehab treatment in 2007 after marijuana and prescription drugs were found in his car when he was pulled over for driving 100 mph in his Toyota Prius.

After losing the 2000 election, Gore turned his attention to climate change, undertaking a worldwide campaign which led in 2007 to a Nobel Peace Prize and an Oscar for the documentary “An Inconvenient Truth.”

The couple were married about six months when Gore deployed to Vietnam as an Army public information officer. When he got home, he landed a job as a reporter at The Tennessean in Nashville, and his wife worked there as a photographer.

Gore later served in his father’s former seats in Congress for 16 years. Determined to avoid pitfalls that snared his father, who was accused of being out of touch, Gore kept a punishing schedule, traveling home to Tennessee for open meetings three weekends a month — and leaving wife Tipper alone in Washington with their four young children.

Gore first ran for president in 1988 at age 39 but drew little support outside the South. A planned bid for the 1992 nomination was put aside after the Gores’ 6-year-old son Albert III almost died after being hit by a car in 1989.

“It was a very spiritual time for both of us,” Tipper Gore later wrote. “In Al’s case, he decided to write a book and not to run for president in 1992.”

The book was “Earth in the Balance,” and Al Gore ended up in the thick of the 1992 campaign anyway — as Bill Clinton’s running mate.

In Washington, the Gores were a power couple — with a light-hearted touch. On Halloween, they would dress in costumes to greet trick-or-treaters at the vice president’s mansion.

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Just yesterday I saw a book  where the author claimed that cheating on his spouse actually helped his marriage and he wants others to give it a try. Some businesses are actually making a living out of creating online cheating portals for married people to arrange affairs.  Their motto is, “Life is short, Have an Affair”. What’s even worse is they are gaining women memberships that are up by 209%.

Why? Well…

We live in a day where movie stars make the cover of National Enquirer depending who they are cheating with and sports stars are constantly apologizing for their latest fling. Our so-called role models are making cheating look easy and accessible.

Where is Dedication hiding? Where is the praise for the couple who have been true to each other for decades?

Unfortunately, news media do not think this kind of information would sell so they don’t report it. Writing articles about cheaters tends to grab a lot of attention because of the intrigue. Romance novels that push multiple partners help create these fantasies among women and pornography creates acceptance with men. All these mediums seem to show how cheating is completely normal and even desired.

The reality is that “Cheaters Never Prosper” and even though in some cases they can repent and a forgiving spouse can take them back in, it is better to not even get started. Regardless of the rule they break, a cheater might advance short term but in the long haul they are bound to be caught. Despite the amount of success, money, fame, or power; cheaters still have to look themselves in the mirror at the end of the day.

For example that day has come for some of the former “Greats”. Phil Mickelson now outpaces mega-cheater Tiger Woods as the #1 golfer in the world. Former Presidential candidate John Edwards has lossed his political career and was kicked out of his beautiful Ranch house for cheating on his wife, while she was battling cancer. And the list could go on.

What should we do to combat this?

Stay away from these online cheating sites, throw out your romance novels, turn the enquirer around at the checkout stand, and keep pornography off of your computer. Business and news are driven by buyers so put your money on good media and don’t get caught as a passive supporter.

Dedication is the 4th Principle in Couple Development. Thriving Marriages are those that have 150% commitment to each other. These marriages have a physical and psychological commitment to each other that cheaters don’t comprehend. It is what makes them a powerful team for life. Cheating destroys the trust built up in the other and kills commitment.

Show the world that there are more people who are dedicated to their marriage. Stand with the millions of couples who have Thriving Marriages and successful lives. Take a stand to bring Dedication back to marriage and live by the motto “Life is great, I’m dedicated to my mate”.

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The “C” in the ABC’s of Couple Development stands for Communication. I can teach proper communication all day long but it is in vain if the people need it the most don’t practice it. Too often in our entertainment world that we live in we would rather veg on the couch after a long day and be entertained, instead of express our thoughts with our favorite person in the world(your spouse).

My wife and I love to have Talk-Time and we schedule it everyday. Sometimes it is just for a few minutes before we head off to bed and others it is for hours and before we knew it 4 hours have flown by.We use to have TV and got hundreds of channels. Since we have disconnected our TV we have been able to spend more quality talking time and it has made a huge difference in our life.

If you just think about it for a moment watching TV is a parallel activity, or one in which the couple is together but not interacting. Talking is a direct activity and requires complete attention. More marriages would be Thriving if they would just practice the simple concept of turning off the TV and spend more quality time communicating.

I hereby Challenge all of you, Thriving Marriage Couples, to Turn Off the TV for an entire week. I am not saying that you shouldn’t watch a movie now and again, but get out of the horrible habit of sitting in front on the Tube every night with nothing else to do.

Call me what you want but studies prove time and time again that TV does not improve your relationship.

This is your Challenge if you choose to accept it. You can do it. If you think this is a dumb idea, then go ahead and prove it to your ego that you can refrain for 1 whole week. See what things change during that time and note how much time you can spend doing other things. There is really nothing to lose especially those with TiVo.

Good luck and may the force be with you!

Life Live on Purpose,

Travis Parry

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The success stories speak for themselves in this book from money maestro Dave Ramsey. Instead of promising the normal dose of quick fixes, Ramsey offers a bold, no-nonsense approach to money matters, providing not only the how-to but also a grounded and uplifting hope for getting out of debt and achieving total financial health.

Ramsey debunks the many myths of money (exposing the dangers of cash advance, rent-to-own, debt consolidation) and attacks the illusions and downright deceptions of the American dream, which encourages nothing but overspending and massive amounts of debt. “Don’t even consider keeping up with the Joneses,” Ramsey declares in his typically candid style. “They’re broke!”

The Total Money Makeover isn’t theory. It works every single time. It works because it is simple. It works because it gets to the heart of the money problems: you.

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Retreived 5/3/10 from http://www.acf.hhs.gov/healthymarriage/benefits/index.html

Benefits of Healthy Marriages
For Children and Youth

Researchers have found many benefits for children and youth who are raised by parents in healthy marriages, compared to unhealthy marriages, including the following:

1. More likely to attend college
2. More likely to succeed academically
3. Physically healthier
4. Emotionally healthier
5. Less likely to attempt or commit suicide
6. Demonstrate less behavioral problems in school
7. Less likely to be a victim of physical or sexual abuse
8. Less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol
9. Less likely to commit delinquent behaviors
10. Have a better relationship with their mothers and fathers
11. Decreases their chances of divorcing when they get married
12. Less likely to become pregnant as a teenager, or impregnate someone.
13. Less likely to be sexually active as teenagers
14. Less likely to contract STD’s
15. Less likely to be raised in poverty

For Women

Researchers have found many benefits for women who are in healthy marriages, compared to unhealthy marriages, including the following:

1. More satisfying relationship
2. Emotionally healthier
3. Wealthier
4. Less likely to be victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, or other violent crimes
5. Less likely to attempt or commit suicide
6. Decrease risk of drug and alcohol abuse
7. Less likely to contract STD’s
8. Less likely to remain or end up in poverty
9. Have better relationships with their children
10. Physically healthier

For Men

Researchers have found many benefits for men who are in healthy marriages, compared to unhealthy marriages, including the following:

1. Live longer
2. Physically healthier
3. Wealthier
4. Increase in the stability of employment
5. Higher wages
6. Emotionally healthier
7. Decrease risk of drug and alcohol abuse
8. Have better relationships with their children
9. More satisfying sexual relationship
10. Less likely to commit violent crimes
11. Less likely to contract STD’s
12. Less likely to attempt or commit suicide

For Communities

Researchers have found many benefits for communities when they have a higher percentage of couples in healthy marriages, compared to unhealthy marriages, including the following:

1. Higher rates of physically healthy citizens
2. Higher rates of emotionally healthy citizens
3. Higher rates of educated citizens
4. Lower domestic violence rates
5. Lower crime statistics
6. Lower teen age pregnancy rates
7. Lower rates of juvenile delinquency
8. Higher rates of home ownership
9. Lower rates of migration
10. Higher property values
11. Decreased need for social services

[Source: Why Marriage Matters, Second Edition: Twenty-Six Conclusions from the Social Sciences, September 2005.]

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For me this happens at least once a year where my wife goes to a Women Only conference. While she is learning about improving her life, I am at home going through her routine with the kiddos. It was a great experience for me to be at home with the kids.

We worked together around on their chores, talked about life’s different details, practiced piano, read books, and made meals together. At the end of the day, I was exhausted and was filled with deeper gratitude for my wife who is at home working all day.

I would suggest that once in a while that go to work with your spouse where possible or stay at home and let your spouse leave for the entire day. It will help to increase gratitude for each other as you understand better the roles that you both play.

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In this book, you can learn what constitutes a complaint, why we complain, what benefits we think we receive from complaining, how complaining is destructive to our lives, and how we can get others around us to stop complaining. You will learn the steps to eradicating this poisonous form of expression from your life. If you stay with it, you will find that not only will you not complain, but others around you will cease to do so as well. In a short period of time, you can have the life you’ve always dreamed of having.

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PROVO — Real men don’t blow themselves up.

In fact, Islamic men who are husbands and fathers are the least likely terrorists, according to a new study by professors at Baylor University and BYU.

“It is exceedingly difficult to convince a married Muslim man with at least one healthy young son still in need of his protection to commit suicide,” according to the paper, “Sex and the Shaheed,” published by political scientists Bradley Thayer of Baylor University and Valerie Hudson of BYU. “That father will not want to fail his obligations as a Muslim man.”

The new study, published in International Security, points out that nearly all suicide bombers are single men, considered by society to be “reproductive losers.”

Rising dowry costs, polygyny and in some cases physical abnormalities are pushing these single men to become shaheeds, or martyrs for Allah, as a way to secure honor and reproductive prospects in the next life.

Shaheeds are promised forgiveness of sins, a place in paradise, 72 beautiful-eyed young virgins and jewels to adorn their crown, the article explains.

They will also be spared the torments of the tomb and the Day of Judgment, according to Islamic scripture.

In March 2004, a 16-year-old failed suicide bomber told Israeli intelligence officials he had been mocked at school for his dwarfism and was tempted by the promise of sexual relations with virgins in paradise, according to the article.

Men also become shaheeds because their death brings in money from terrorist organizations, which their family can then use for the dowry of another child.

In Afghanistan, the average wedding costs $12,000 to $20,000, and families of young adult males in Egypt often save for seven years to pay for a wedding.

For a third or fourth son, there may be no money left for a dowry, Hudson explained. Thus he is unable to officially become a man as the head of a household and is racked with feelings of emasculation and humiliation.

“You get an appreciation for how desperate these individuals are,” Thayer said. “If you put yourself in their shoes … they are individuals who think that people are going to be better off … when they’re gone.”

Some governments have stepped in to help reduce or subsidize wedding costs, such as Egypt, where they hold mass weddings in stadiums, and Iran’s “love fund,” which pays dowry costs of its soldiers, Hudson said.

“I had no idea how attentive, not just nations, but also terrorist groups, were to whether their young men were married or not,” Hudson said. “These leaders of terrorist organizations understand that marriage and family make a difference in the terms of the behavior of their adherents.”

In the 1970s, the Palestine Liberation Organization encouraged its members to marry, trying to tone down the more extreme Black September organization.

“When the men married, and especially when they had sons, their militancy waned dramatically,” the article explains.

“We see this (research) really as only one arrow in a quiver, really, of ways to combat the problem of terrorism,” Thayer said.

Recommendations from the article include promoting women’s rights in Muslim countries, which lessens the divide between men and women and reduces emotions like dishonor and emasculation, which can lead men to become suicide terrorists.

Government-controlled dowry costs, establishment of democratic, liberal governments and publishing anti-terrorism messages focusing on the shameful, dishonorable path of the terrorist are also crucial.

“This is the useful element that academics are able to do,” Thayer said, “Call attention to this, recognize a problem and identify a solution that individuals had not identified before.”

For more information visit belfercenter.ksg.harvard.edu/project/58/quarterly_journal.html.

E-mail: sisraelsen@desnews.com