Grateful Thanksgiving

A real quick note before Thanksgiving…

At this time of Thanksgiving it is a time to be thankful for what we do have and to spend that with relatives and friends. Some of these gatherings might involve friends or relatives that are difficult to get a long with or don’t share your same views or values. It is easy to find fault and make fun. Instead, make a point to find something that you are grateful about them and share it with the person. I know this may be difficult but this positive and grateful attitude no matter how it is received can help to change your attitude toward that person.

Studies have shown that families that get together often and regularly tend to have better relationships and happier lives. There is power in connecting and sharing time and a meal with someone. Barriers are broken down and people can connect with each other. In fact the pilgrims and Indians were some of the first to recognize that sharing time and food with each other will not only help each other to survive but to also get a long and live in peace. Hence the reason why each 4th Thursday in November we honor them with the Thanksgiving Feast.

Remember that through all of the holiday gatherings with family, friends, church members, and work associates that we can be the positive and grateful difference in their lives that we all so desperately need and want.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Thriving Relationship Institute provides Relationship Education and Coaching to improve Marriage and Family Relationships.

Attitude will Always Determine your Altitude

My dad was a pilot and airplane enthusiast. Whenever a plane flew overhead he would look up and tell me exactly what model it was, how many engines or props it had, and how fast it was going. If he didn’t know which aircraft it was he would look in The Chronicle of Aviation, a 1000 page book that sat on his dashboard.  He would use these moments to explain lift, pitch, maneuvers, and remind how “any landing was a good landing.”

Not only was Dad a master of aircraft, but he was a master of his attitude as well. He would often remind me of flight principles that could apply to life. One that always stood out was, “Your Attitude will Always Determine your Altitude.” Everyone loved Dad and wanted to be around his positive personality. Dad’s positive attitude gave him a great altitude in life, wonderful relationships with others, and a great marriage.

At the base of any great marriage relationship is a positive attitude. If two people want to enjoy each others company it is imperative to be positive. Positive attitudes help to bring each partner up and fly high as a couple.

Think of an airplane with a pilot and co-pilot with equal responsibility for guiding the aircraft. Guided by physical law the more you point an airplane’s noise at the ground the further it will drop in altitude. The more you pull up on the noise the higher it will climb.

Too often in marriage there is a pilot who is pushing the noise of the airplane down to the ground and a frantic co-pilot trying desperately to pull it back up and vice versa. Sometimes spouses criticize each other and put the other one down instead of lifting the other one up with positive attitude and conversation. Then as the two begin to argue the airplane of their marriage begins to noise dive and spin out of control to the ground.

To prevent this from happening to your marriage relationship think about the following helpful hints:

• Say one good thing about your spouse every day
• Write a love note via text, email, paper of something specific he or she did that day
• Refrain from criticism by giving positive feedback
• If there was a negative remark said, then ask forgiveness quickly and say 3 things positive to compensate

Remember great marriages are built on positive attitudes and the Sky is the limit.

For a Full-Day of Relationship Training come to The Relate Workshop

Thriving Relationship Institute provides Relationship Education and Coaching to improve Marriage and Family Relationships.

Work-Life Balance

This week Travis Parry was featured in the Financial Planning Association’s Magazine. Click on the following link for this week’s Balance Tip of the Week. Although this was directed for Financial Planners, it is meant for universal application.

http://www.fpanet.org/PracticeManagement/PracticeSolutionsMagazine/NovemberDecember09/RestoringWorkLifeBalance/

Click here  for the Free eBook  “The Life Balance eBook: 3 Simple Steps for Total Life Balance”

Attentive Listening

“You’re not Listening to me!” Have you ever heard that before? If you have you were not practicing Attentive Listening.

Attentive Listening  is one of the most important keys to great Communication in any Relationship. It helps to let the other person explain in a non threatening way what they would like. In turn it allows you the opportunity to request the same respect.

The Merriam-Webster Definition of Attend is: to be present or, to pay attention. Attentive Listening requires that you pay complete attention to whomever you are communicating with. People know when you are attending because your eyes and ears are focused only on them. Don’t try to fake it because when you are not paying attention, people know. That is why your spouse will ask, “Are you listening to me?” as you flip through the TV channels.

Here are a few helpful hints to being a better Attentive Listener:

• Schedule Time to Listen
• Turn off all distractions like cell phones, TVs, and laptops
• Make and keep eye contact for most of the conversation
• Face the person in a non-threatening posture
• Wait at least 3 seconds until the other person has finished talking before you say anything

The benefits of being an Attentive Listener greatly out weigh the time it takes to learn. Some people like to cut straight to the chase and/or they might think they know what the other person will say. Even if that is the case give the other person the benefit of the doubt and hear them out. If anything this will foster trust and encourage him/her to want to share their thoughts and feelings more in the future.

If you think about it, Attentive Listening is really just patience in action. Slow down, Relax, and Listen. If you are in a discussion and you forget to be an Attentive Listener, reach up and put your hand over mouth. This tends to help!

Thriving Relationship Institute provides Relationship Education and Coaching to improve Marriage and Family Relationships.